rough one

the triplet's room is empty. the marks in the carpet where the last crib was and the dresser will soon disappear with vacuuming. my husband took the crib and dresser to work for a guy who is expecting twins and has no money right now. we agreed we would give the furniture to people who needed it because any other children we have, we want to buy them their own furniture. i came home from work to see the room empty, and it took my breath away. i thought i was ready for their furniture to be gone, for their room to be completely taken apart. i wasn't as ready as i thought.

i feel like when i give each piece of furniture away, i am giving pieces of my children away. as crazy as it sounds, i had to hug the crib last night because i knew it wouldn't be there when i got home from work the next day. my child was supposed to sleep in that crib, spit up in that crib, cry in that crib, pee through his/her diaper in that crib. none of that ever got to happen, and instead someone else's child will get to do all those things in my child's crib.

i hope they love their child to the core, appreciate every late night, sickness, change of sheets, and tired days that they get with their child.