The Ripple Effect

Walking With You's

topic this week is the ripple effect in your marriage from the loss of a child/ren. My husband's and my marriage has definitely changed dramatically since the loss of Nathan, Anthony Jr and Malia. We clung to each other in the hospital. I didn't want my husband to be away from my side, and he didn't want to leave my side. We held each other, he checked on me constantly through the night, and I checked on him. We barely got any sleep, not like anyone COULD sleep through what was going on. We locked eyes a lot. I think something, and it instantly is on my husband's lips most of the time. Vice Versa. So, the closer it got to delivering the triplets, the less words that needed to be shared. After we left the hospital, my husband didn't want me to be alone. Not even in the bedroom in the morning when we'd wake up. If he had to go somewhere, he made sure someone was at the house the entire time he was gone. I tried to let him know I was ok, or that I needed some time alone, but he wouldn't have it. He knows me too well. We cried a lot the days after, into the weeks after they were gone. My husband got to take a few weeks off with me. That was incredibly nice. We spent every waking moment together. Our marriage has grown stronger. We depend on each other in ways only we can understand. Our priorities have changed, our arguments have changed, our emotions have changed. Our marriage is definitely been effected by the loss of our children. There is no way that is wouldn't be. I know that it could have been effected for the worse, and we fought hard against that. We fight daily against it. Satan will use anything as a stronghold to break up what God has put together. In knowing that alone, it makes us stronger. We are united in that front. We pray for our marriage daily because without it, we know what can happen. Grief can takeover all parts of your life and your heart, and there is no greater grief than losing your children. I'm convinced of that.