it's been a roller coaster ride for my emotions the past few days. ever since valentine's day i have had waves of emotions rolling over me very frequently. i'm not even sure why because we don't really even celebrate valentine's day. i just get choked up, and have to choke it back down. this week we had family in town, family we don't see very often at all. i was apprehensive to be alone with my sister in law because i know my emotions are very fragile right now and i didn't want to trigger a sobfest. i ended up holding my emotions together pretty well after talking in depth about my triplets. it made me think more about how i would have changed that day though, and the days around it. i know there is no going back. i know there can be no changes made, and i pray that we NEVER have to go through something like this again. however, i do wish we did walk through that journey a little differently. that makes me upset as well. i just need reassurance sometimes that there was nothing wrong with how we handled the loss of our children. a dear friend of my, the best of the best, reassured me today that nothing we did was wrong, and that no one has the right to tell us what we should have done. isn't it funny how sometimes we just need someone else to tell us what we already know to feel a peace again about decisions we've made?
Saturday, February 18, 2012
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