crazy busy

but who isn't? right? well, i have so much to catch up on, so I think this will be a lot of rambling, and maybe in the near future i will have time to reflect more in depth about a few things. only time will tell....

1st is first. My daughter is 2 years old. 2 YEARS OLD!!!  how does that happen!? i swear it hasn't been 2 years! she is the best, cutest, most loving, smartest 2 year old ever! (i know all you mom's out there have claimed that as well!)  It was like a switch went off the day before she turned 2 though. she started taking her diaper off and all her clothes in her crib, she started rolling her eyes (no joke. she did it twice yesterday! once for my husband and once for me!) and she started taking her hair ties out of her hair and dangerously wrapping them around her fingers. she has quite the opinion too, it's kinda hilarious, kinda like "you're 2, not 15. get a grip". i'm sad she's not a "baby" anymore, but seriously, every day is so much fun with her! i'll post pics from her party later. and her elmo cupcakes i made...seriously flawed. if you follow me on facebook, you can see the cracked out elmo....otherwise, you may have to wait a while.

2nd is second (only makes sense right?)  It's my husband and my anniversary today. 4 years since we tied the knot. seems like a lot longer. maybe because this was the worst year of our lives. we have had many, many, many, MANY ups and downs this year. maybe some would have even called it quits. i was ready to run away many times. just being honest. it's hard to deal with the intense emotions of a trying pregnancy, and the miscarriage of 3 children, and the birth and death of 3 more, let alone trying to manage the emotions of a spouse, and learn a knew normal, and parent a child, and hold down a job, and try to look sane in public. i may have failed a few times at all of those things, but i know it's a learning curve we are still on. i wouldn't want to end the day standing next to anyone else through all of that though. honestly. i may want him to stop talking, leave me alone, and not bother me for hours....but i still want him to bother me. know what i mean? maybe i just failed at that "looking sane in public" thing right there, but there's no other way to describe it. he's a great father, and a great husband. he's the most loving, giving, gentle, kind, emotional man i know, yet he is my strength and my rock and my compass (on this earth people...i know who my God is, don't worry). i have learned to lean on him when i never would have in the past. i have learned it's ok to cry...nonstop....over meaningless things....constantly....just kidding (no i'm not!). and through it all, he's remained by my side. i'm sure there have been plenty of times he's wanted to throw me right out the window of a moving car, but he hasn't. thankfully. he's learned the same things as i have. it's made our marriage stronger. cause honestly, if you can make it through something like we have this past year, bring it. nothing can break us apart. (ok, don't really bring it! i've had my share of "enough". i'm good. promise)

3rdly...we are in a waiting game now. if you followed the last few blogs, i've charted my numbers. they were well over 400 by memorial day. we had an ultrasound on memorial day, and i have one nice, plump follicle. though i would feel better if there were 2, i'm happy there was at least 1. and i'm happy it only took a week. that's record time for my ovaries. good job ladies. good job. i got my shot of HCG on tuesday, had the IUI on wednesday, and now we wait. praying my uterus made a nice romantic little getaway for mr spermy and miss eggy. praying that blastocyst is forming and multiplying as we speak. i'll find out soon, though not soon enough. i won't feel better about any of it until 40 weeks hits and i deliver and bring home a nice, happy, healthy baby, BUT i will be excited that it worked if we do find out we are pregnant. meanwhile, i've been playing a little marvin gaye "let's get it on" to my uterus. just kidding (no i'm not!)