Goodbye

2011.

It was the worst year of my life, with some of the BEST milestones. I do hope I never have another year like it.

JANUARY:

we were in the middle of our first cycle of injectable treatments again, needles, needles, and more needles.

my daughter learned to crawl

my body produced a million follicles so we had to abandon the cycle.

FEBRUARY:

my daughters personality started to come out, we moved out of the constant fussy/crying/anxiety stage

we started another round of injectables, more needles again

my body produced a million follicles so we had to abandon the cycle.

MARCH:

I turned 31.

we started another round of injectables, with you guessed it...more needles. did i mention i HATE needles???

my body produced about 6 follicles that looked like they could develop! we pushed ahead a few more days.

my daughter started table foods and had her 9 month check up. she weighed 24 lbs.

APRIL:

my husband turned 38

there were 6 good follicles, we got the trigger shot and were inseminated...ON my husband's birthday! happy birthday sweety! i joke that not many can say another man got me pregnant while my husband and daughter were in the room....gotta keep it light somehow right??

we found out we were pregnant on easter!!! it worked! the line was REALLY dark though, so i joked we were pregnant with triplets!

MAY:

we found out we were pregnant with not 1, not 2, not 3, but 5 babies! we had 6 sacs, and one of our babies had already passed. we were 7 weeks along.

at 8 weeks pregnant we had lost another baby and were only pregnant with 4.

at 9 weeks pregnant we had lost another baby and were now pregnant with triplets.

my daughter turned a year! a year! i can't even believe it still! she was still 24 lbs by the way, but had grown 3 inches!!!

my daughter got her 1st pool.

it was a very shocking month!

JUNE:

10 weeks pregnant and very healthy triplets was the verdict. we graduated from the fertility clinic.

11 weeks pregnant we got to see the high risk dr and talk about how things were going to go.

my daughter started sleeping through the night! that's right folks, do the math, she was 13 months old before she slept through the night...it was a long 13 months!

(notice i still haven't said my daughter started walking? nope. she was way too stubborn and lazy to start walking yet!)

my daughter went swimming every day, she is a little fish!

my daughter got her 1 year pictures done by our good friend auntie rachel.

JULY:

at 14 weeks pregnant my water broke with baby A. we were heart broken, yet prayerful.

i was put on restrictions. not a lot of walking, no lifting ANYTHING, not even a gallon of milk. not a lot of stairs, not standing for long periods of time, no cleaning....etc. this led to......

my mother moved in with us.

my husband built a bedroom in the basement.

at 15 weeks we found out we were having a girl (baby B) and a boy (baby C)!!! baby A's gender couldn't be seen because there was no fluid in the sac.

i measured at 22 weeks pregnant already, and was growing rapidly every week.

It was a month of weekly checkups for our very risky pregnancy.

my daughter started walking!!!!! she just decided one day to be bold and took off! she hasn't slowed down since!

AUGUST:

my daughter got her first haircut in a salon. she looked like such a little girl now and not my little baby anymore!

i was taking it very slow as i was very large already and i was out of breath just walking from my couch to my front door.

i was now seeing the dr every 2 weeks because there were no changes and no need to go in weekly to be disappointed.

we went to the dr at week 21 and everything looked great. it was a tuesday morning. that saturday morning at 12:30ish my life, my family's life changed for the worse, very drastically, and very quickly! you can read all about it here.

our beautiful triplets, Nathan Richard, Malia Elizabeth, and Anthony Thomas Jr, were born and died all in a matter of hours on the 28th of August.

SEPTEMBER:

kind of a blur. don't know how i got through the day to day. i don't remember much.

my daughter had her 15 month appointment, she started talking a lot and now only weighed 25 lbs. not gaining much weight, just shooting up taller and taller!

my daughter is a very picky eater, so it is a chore to find something for her to eat every day, multiple times a day.

OCTOBER:

i went back to work in the middle of october.

my daughter started coming to daycare and LOVED it.

my daughter refuses to nap at daycare still though, so i bring her home to nap and work splits on days when my husband works days.

most of the month is a blur as well.

NOVEMBER:

our first holiday without our children was quickly approaching. i was anxious and still didn't have a day that went by that i didn't break down and cry.

thanksgiving came. in-laws came over for the holiday. it was mostly stress free, but i still wish i never had to celebrate thanksgiving.

my daughter's speech is exploding and she says so many words, and seems to say a new word every day.

DECEMBER:

a LOT of anxiety.

christmas was approaching and it used to be my favorite holiday. i didn't know how i would get through it without all of my children here with me.

a lot of prayer, a lot of reading, a lot of support from my husband and close friends got me to and through christmas.

christmas came, and we had a nice relaxing couple of days of celebration. it was hard, but we did it.

Now, 2011 is about to end. it's bittersweet. i don't want the year to end. the year my oldest daughter turned 1. the year we got pregnant again. the year we gave birth to the most beautiful triplets ever. and the year we had to say goodbye to the triplets as well. i feel like if the year ends, it takes me further away from the triplets. that's not true of course, but that's how my mind and my heart are processing this new year. i have stayed distracted, my husband and i have planned a nice evening at home tonight....new years eve. i plan to go to bed long before the ball drops. and wake up tomorrow morning, in 2012, just as thankful...if not more, just as hopeful...if not more, just as faithful...if not more than i am today. it's just another day. another day closer to heaven. another day closer to seeing my beautiful children all together and playing. we are praying this year we are able to get pregnant and successfully carry this baby to term. we are praying it's a singleton pregnancy as my body is not able to handle multiples. i am hesitant to make plans, because i know the One who holds my tomorrows in His hands, and none of them are guaranteed.

Whatever this year has brought you to, or brought you from, remember the ONE who made you, and cling to Him...praise Him for the year past, as well as the year to come.

Happy New Year everyone. May the Lord bless and keep you.