Update/Picture dump

 

I saw the dr the day after the phone call that sent me into a bit of a panic attack. I know in my head i was overreacting, but in my heart, my baby was already born, in the NICU, worse case scenario en suite. Call me crazy. I've been called worse. My mind will never not go there, ever again. Get used to it. Death changes you. Death of your child changes you. Death of 3 of your children, right before your eyes, changes you. It makes you doubt your body, your life, your purpose, your dreams, your calling, your family, your body, your body, your body.....

 

She put my mind to ease a bit more though, and it helps that we have scheduled an induction. I know I could always go before, but if he is true to how he's been, he's not coming anytime soon. I'm going to try really, really, really hard to enjoy these last 3 weeks. I want to absorb every moment I can with my daughter now before her world changes again as well. Sharing your love between earth and the heavenlies, while not easy, is easier I'm sure, than sharing your time between 2 of the most incredible miracles on this earth. (see, that was positive!? i said it affirming he IS coming home alive with us alive. it's little steps people.)

 

I go to another check-up Wednesday, and hope to find out if there's been any "action" in the getting ready to labor part. I'm definitely scared OUT.OF.MY.MIND he's going to be the predicted 9lbs. I could barely push out my 7lb'er!

 

Ok, I'll leave you with some of my pics as of late:

 

 

 

 

Dominic's chubby face. see that dimply by his EYE!!!! oh my. he's a bigga boy!

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my belly with just 3 weeks left!

my love and her obsession. "bool bus and all the guys"

the two people on this earth that keep me going every day!