Special Place

Day 9 of the Capture Your Grief Photo Project is supposed to be a picture of a "Special Place". This could be a place that you visit that brings you peace. Maybe it is a place that you went to when you were pregnant or where your child’s place of rest is. I don't have a place like that. So, I don't have a picture for this one. I have been racking my brain for days to figure out what I could use for a picture, and to be honest, I just don't have anything. Peace to me, is found where I allow it to come into my heart. I could be out and about, at work, at home, just sitting on my patio, anywhere, and when I allow the peace that passes all understanding to flood through my heart and soul, that is where I find peace. Believe me, there are plenty of times I'm driving home from work, or the store, or anywhere, and out of no where I start crying....missing my children terribly. I have to pray for peace, and when I do, that overwhelming feeling of not being able to take another breath on this earth leaves me. I am filled with peace. It may not happen right in that second, but in a much quicker time frame than it did a year ago. I have accepted my family and the way it looks. I am not ashamed to talk about or show that my family is more than what you see here on this earth physically.

SO.....if I had a picture of my heart, I would post that. (And those of you that know me, know I would! Just refer to my facebook. I'm pretty proud of my placenta, keeping my daughter alive and healthy for 40 weeks and 5 days.....). But since I don't, most of you will consider yourselves lucky for not having to be grossed out.

I hope those that follow my blog can find this kind of peace as well. No matter where you are, or where your circumstances are going to bring you....peace is a choice you have to make. Sometimes, it's a choice you have to make every moment of every day for a while. I choose peace because I know that no amount of an unsettled heart will please the One who created me, the One who loves me enough to have made a place for me next to Him in heaven, to join my children for all of eternity. Living on earth is certainly hard. Harder than I ever imagined it would be now that I have children waiting for me in heaven, but it's not something that doesn't have to be done without peace. I thank God for that.