but who isn't? right? well, i have so much to catch up on, so I think this will be a lot of rambling, and maybe in the near future i will have time to reflect more in depth about a few things. only time will tell....
1st is first. My daughter is 2 years old. 2 YEARS OLD!!! how does that happen!? i swear it hasn't been 2 years! she is the best, cutest, most loving, smartest 2 year old ever! (i know all you mom's out there have claimed that as well!) It was like a switch went off the day before she turned 2 though. she started taking her diaper off and all her clothes in her crib, she started rolling her eyes (no joke. she did it twice yesterday! once for my husband and once for me!) and she started taking her hair ties out of her hair and dangerously wrapping them around her fingers. she has quite the opinion too, it's kinda hilarious, kinda like "you're 2, not 15. get a grip". i'm sad she's not a "baby" anymore, but seriously, every day is so much fun with her! i'll post pics from her party later. and her elmo cupcakes i made...seriously flawed. if you follow me on facebook, you can see the cracked out elmo....otherwise, you may have to wait a while.
2nd is second (only makes sense right?) It's my husband and my anniversary today. 4 years since we tied the knot. seems like a lot longer. maybe because this was the worst year of our lives. we have had many, many, many, MANY ups and downs this year. maybe some would have even called it quits. i was ready to run away many times. just being honest. it's hard to deal with the intense emotions of a trying pregnancy, and the miscarriage of 3 children, and the birth and death of 3 more, let alone trying to manage the emotions of a spouse, and learn a knew normal, and parent a child, and hold down a job, and try to look sane in public. i may have failed a few times at all of those things, but i know it's a learning curve we are still on. i wouldn't want to end the day standing next to anyone else through all of that though. honestly. i may want him to stop talking, leave me alone, and not bother me for hours....but i still want him to bother me. know what i mean? maybe i just failed at that "looking sane in public" thing right there, but there's no other way to describe it. he's a great father, and a great husband. he's the most loving, giving, gentle, kind, emotional man i know, yet he is my strength and my rock and my compass (on this earth people...i know who my God is, don't worry). i have learned to lean on him when i never would have in the past. i have learned it's ok to cry...nonstop....over meaningless things....constantly....just kidding (no i'm not!). and through it all, he's remained by my side. i'm sure there have been plenty of times he's wanted to throw me right out the window of a moving car, but he hasn't. thankfully. he's learned the same things as i have. it's made our marriage stronger. cause honestly, if you can make it through something like we have this past year, bring it. nothing can break us apart. (ok, don't really bring it! i've had my share of "enough". i'm good. promise)
3rdly...we are in a waiting game now. if you followed the last few blogs, i've charted my numbers. they were well over 400 by memorial day. we had an ultrasound on memorial day, and i have one nice, plump follicle. though i would feel better if there were 2, i'm happy there was at least 1. and i'm happy it only took a week. that's record time for my ovaries. good job ladies. good job. i got my shot of HCG on tuesday, had the IUI on wednesday, and now we wait. praying my uterus made a nice romantic little getaway for mr spermy and miss eggy. praying that blastocyst is forming and multiplying as we speak. i'll find out soon, though not soon enough. i won't feel better about any of it until 40 weeks hits and i deliver and bring home a nice, happy, healthy baby, BUT i will be excited that it worked if we do find out we are pregnant. meanwhile, i've been playing a little marvin gaye "let's get it on" to my uterus. just kidding (no i'm not!)
Thursday, May 31, 2012
crazy busy
Friday, May 25, 2012
Number is what you want...
don't you? well, 141 is what they told me today. all sounds and looks good with blood work. we go in for an ultrasound to look to see how many, if any, follicles are growing under these conditions. i don't want to get my hopes up because it scares me to think there could be a million follicles right now, or the opposite....none. i laid hands on my stomach this morning (and most mornings) and prayed that there is success in my ovaries, that there is no more than 3 follicles growing, and no less than 1. i am excited for monday to find out, but at the same time cautious. it's also my daughter's birthday (which i will post all about soon!) and i don't want it to ruin our day of festivities....i'm being really careful how i approach this upcoming news. whatever way it goes. i'm just excited that for the first time in a long time, it hasn't taken a month for my numbers to start rising. it's only been a week. and i'm almost "primed". this is where the holy spirit needs to take over. God's perfect timing....now if only my heart remembers that.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
99
last night, my husband and i got to go on a date. kinda. my mother came out to babysit for us (she is the only one we leave our daughter with). we decided we were going to go shopping for our ALMOST 2 year old who has a birthday in less than a week. seriously, this is breaking my heart. more than i ever thought it would. maybe it's because it reminds me of all the birthday shopping i will never get to do for the triplets, yet planned over and over in my head for 22 short weeks....maybe it's because she is growing up so fast and i never ever want to take a second for granted, because the next second may just not be there to appreciate. none the less, it's hard thinking she is having another birthday already. after shopping for her birthday we went shopping for a new ceiling fan for her bedroom. hers is a dinky "cheap" one that we had put in for an empty room when we built the house. now, she needs a serious one to cool down her room and not just wave a little air around. have you shopped for ceiling fans before? most are ridiculously ugly. the few that are not are not flush mount, which is what we want. so we walked out with nothing and will have to keep looking. then we decided to get coffee and dessert. yummy. when we got home we spent hours (yes, WAY past both our bed times!!!) playing family feud, and some logo game on our itouch...laughing...it's nice. enjoying time with my husband, while my daughter is safely sleeping in the room across the hall. i love my family. as we were playing and talking, we talked about how my blood work went that day. the lady was complaining non stop about her stomach pain, and i really didn't want to hear "oh my tummy" one more time if she had to be near me taking my blood. then, the prick mark wouldn't stop bleeding, so she told me to wear the gauze for an hour. WOW! that's the longest i've ever been told to wear it. kinda ridiculous looking, but i know my vein is super tired of getting pricked, and no other veins give blood. i promise. it's been 3 years trying. stick with what works right? so i took it off after an hour and it was still bleeding a bit. annoying. guess it's going to be a long blood draw thursday because we will have to try another site. off on that tangent to say we were talking about that and how i get to find out from dr's what my numbers were tomorrow (which is today). we were anxious to see if this new medicine would work. my husband guessed 70. i guessed 60...oh the "games" you will find to play in the monotonous, emotional days of infertility. i then said "wouldn't it be funny if they jumped to 100 already!?" haha, like that would ever happen. they started at 30 if you remember/follow my blog. so...i called this morning. the receptionist who really needs a class in phone etiquette answered and put me on hold before i could even take a breath. i waited a few minutes and then explained i was calling for my numbers. she read "the board" (those who use fertility meds probably know the board i'm talking about). 99!!!!!! my numbers were 99! ha, funny indeed! looks great on paper! that's the quickest it's jumped in a LONG time. i won't get my hopes up too high though, we still have to make sure they don't drop, which they are notorious for doing....also, we have to take a look to make sure only 2 or 3 follicles are developing at most....because we've also gone in to see a million follicles ready to release and had to quickly abandon ship. so...i'm excited the meds seem to be working to raise my levels....and hesitant to be excited that we could have 2 pink lines in less than a month.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Stroll for Strong
My family is doing the Stroll for Strong. We are so excited to be linked up with this cause. If you feel led to join our team, or donate on behalf of what our team is raising money for, please follow this link:
We are team D 6. We are raising money to help with parents who have lost their babies either before/during/ or shortly after birth. We received great support from our hospital, and they went out of their way to give us keepsakes for our triplets. We received the blankets they were wrapped in, their gowns, their hats, a footprint mold, a stuffed animal, a ring that was used in their pictures, and pictures of them in a box. It was more than I could have asked for. Though I wish I was bringing my children home from the hospital, and not those boxes, I am thankful that I have keepsakes.
I will be making t-shirts for all those who choose to walk with us. So let me know if you would like to join our team. Or again, follow this link if you would like to donate to a cause our family is so deeply invested in.
Thank you and God's peace and blessings be with you,
ALL of the D'Imperio family!
30
my levels today. cleared to start shots again. meds are being delivered sometime before 4pm. praying the beginning of summer will bring a successful cycle!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Family Day
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Mother's Day
You can check out the Mother's Day Video HERE. It was a beautiful, long, amazing, emotional weekend. Glad that it's over, and so thankful I was given the opportunity to be able to be a part of it.
I only broke down a few times, missing celebrating with ALL of my children. My husband made it beautiful though, and in my card mentioned all the children and that touched my heart deeply. Claire got me flowers and a water bottle (mine broke) with her picture on it. LOVE IT! I got extra snuggles, and just really enjoyed the day. I took the day after off of work to spend with my husband and daughter, and to recover emotionally from what the weekend meant to me. We had one of the most amazing days. I'll post about that soon. I hope....
