"oh"

Twice in the past month, at different dr's, have I been asked what my necklace is. I wear a necklace every single day that is a short "tube like" looking pendant with a birthstone on the bottom. It is a little of each of my triplets ashes. I wear it proudly, and am always ready to talk about it if asked. Usually, no one says anything. The first time I was asked Iwas getting my blood drawn. The phlebotomist asked "what is your necklace?" I hesitated thinking....not sure you really want to know but..."It's some of the ashes of my triplets that I lost 7 months ago."  To which she responds, "oh". Silence for the remainder of the draw.

"Oh"??? that is your response? I don't need a gushing response. I don't need pity or hug or anything like that. I have no expectations. BUT, manners tell me if someone tells me something like that, you would at least respond with an "I'm sorry". Or maybe a "That's terrible, I'm sorry". If you don't really care though, don't ask a person about their "odd-shaped" necklace.

Today, at my ortho appointment, the dr, the MAIN dr, stopped mid-sentence of telling my about my new bone growth to ask what my necklace was all about. Exactly like that, "What's your necklace all about?" I again hesitated, cause honestly, I know how this goes down. I responded with "It's the ashes to my 3 children I lost last summer." The dr's response...."Oh. Ok". Then he continued to talk about my tendons and tissue damage.

"Oh. Ok"??? Are you for real? Are you a trained professional? A dr, no less!? And no one has ever taught you manners on how to respond to someone else's tragedy?

I'm baffled. Maybe tragedy has never touched their lives. Though, I know plenty of people who have offered up sympathy to my family in the last almost 8 months, that have not had much tragedy ever touch their lives, if any. I know that before this happened, when someone told me that someone they knew died, I offered up my apologies and sympathies to them. Whether it was a close friend, or a distant relative, or a neighbor they barely knew, "I'm sorry for your loss", or "That's so sad, I'm sorry", or something else similar would be my response. It's simple manners. It's part of being a polite, kind, caring society.

I know this world is filled with more evil than good, but seriously..."oh" is the new sympathetic response? This makes me feel even more justified in sheltering my daughter from this self-centered world than before.