Forever and a Day...

I was afraid Your love set me free
I was in debt You paid the price for me
I was hurt you took away my pain
I was alone until You called my name
I was broken and You mended me
Before I was You loved me
You healed my body and You made me whole
No matter what I do You don’t let go

I will sing to the King, I am the ransomed one
How I love Your holy name, holy to the Lamb who was slain
When I laugh and when I cry, You are the reason why
How I long to be with You, forever and a day

When I go to bed, You are near
When I wake up, You are there
When I say Your name, You are here
When I walk in faith, You’re everywhere
You catch and save every tear I cry
You journal everyday all about my life
Your love for me reaches to the sky

I am Yours, You are mine

Forever and a Day
By: Anthony Skinner Bethel Music Publishing

This song was playing in my car on the way to the fertility clinic on the day we found out the meds finally worked and we could finally schedule the IUI. The line that stuck out the most was where they sang "You healed my body and you made me whole". Music has always spoken to me, or rather, God has always spoken to my heart through music. It touches me like nothing else does. I have always felt "broken". Especially this attempt at getting pregnant because it just wasn't working. I always feel like it's my fault, and I have always prayed for God to heal my body so that we don't have such struggles every time we want to get pregnant. I knew going into the dr that it would be good news, God gave me renewed strength that day that even if my body isn't healed the way I picture it, He has a greater plan and a greater purpose for the way we have to get pregnant. I know one day, when I get to heaven, I will receive my new body, and it will be healed, and whole.

After we had the triplets, I searched and searched for this song. I couldn't remember the words, I couldn't remember which CD it was on. I just knew God spoke to me through it at the very beginning of our journey this pregnancy, and I was hoping it would comfort me now that the journey with my triplets is over. I finally heard it yesterday, it JUMPED out at me while I was in my car. Driving. Alone. Again. Just like that first time. I couldn't believe how God delivered it exactly like it was the day we knew we would be parents again. This time though, different lines were jumping out at me. He takes away my pain when I'm hurt. Not even just daily, but minute by minute lately. Breathing is getting easier. Walking is getting easier. Living is getting easier.
"No matter what I do You don't let go". No matter if I can worship, if I can sing of His faithfulness, if I scream out in anger at Him....He's not going to let me go. Even when I try to hide, He knows right where I am. The promise of when I go to bed, He is there. When I wake up, He is there. "How I long to be with you, forever and a day"....I can't wait to spend eternity in Heaven, to see my children again, to be healed and whole, to live without pain and hurt. Tragedy can't touch me anymore. "You catch and save every tear I cry. You journal everyday all about my life"...that's exactly what I needed to hear. I love how He speaks to me through song. It brings me to tears almost every time, some are tears of joy, some are not. But to know that He cares enough to speak to my heart the way I know how to listen, and to do it even when I don't do my share in our relationship lately, that's a love I am so thankful for.