shed a few (ok, many) tears today. iui is tomorrow. and while it's supposed to be joyous...and mostly it is, it's caused a lot of anxiety. last people to dwell inside of me didn't get to live much this side of heaven. and i can't help but to think about the next person to live inside of there is right where they were, and they will never know their siblings this side of heaven either. and i pray with all that is in me that i will become pregnant, and get to bring this baby home from the hospital. but, i would be lying if i said it doesn't cause so much anxiety i want to puke. i trust in my God, and i know that He knows my children even before they are living inside of my womb, but i am human too, and i am scared. very scared. pregnancy will never be the same for me again. it's going to be a lot of "fake it til you make it" kinda moments between now and when i finally do have a "bring home baby". i just wish the triplets were here. tomorrow will be a day of trying to hold myself together. it's going to be so very emotional. april 11, 2011 was the day the triplets iui was and they were miraculously formed. almost a year later, and we are doing it all over again. i am shaking just thinking about it. shaking, and shedding some more tears. i can't believe any of it.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I will continue to be praying for you. I have experienced both a cycle that didn't work and a pregnancy after the boys and neither were easy. I am continuing to pray that God will give you His peace, and that He will give you the strength to handle each moment that comes.
I know these emotions all too well. Many prayers for you. Prayers for peace no matter what happens, prayers for hope, and prayers for comfort as you miss your sweet babies.
Hi Heather I have not had to endure what you are walking through right now. It must be very emotional and scary. Although I am fearful to be pregnant again after losing Johnathan. I am praying you will get to bring a baby home. So sorry you have to walk this path. Thanks for sharing and giving me a gimps into what you have to go through. Prayers sent your way!
Post a Comment