day dreaming

this weekend i spent a lot of time outside with my husband and daughter. it has been unseasonably gorgeous around here. i really do appreciate it, i love this weather, but i am also not an idiot, and i know we will pay. bugs are going to be all over because nothing died off t his very warm winter. crops will suffer, people's livlihoods that depended on snow and a cold winter have already suffered. this weather is bittersweet. you know what else is bittersweet? watching my toddler run around the backyard playing with all her toys from last summer that are "new to her" again, and seeing the growth she's had over the past year, the learning she's done....yet daydreaming what it would be like to have a playyard set up with cooing triplets covered with a canopy so the sun doesn't kiss their too new skin. running around like a crazy person to meet all 4 of my children's needs. THAT is what i spent a majority of MY weekend doing. day dreaming about the stroller we would be pushing them around in while my eldest INSISTS on walking herself, which makes the trip around the block 45 minutes long.

so many neighbor in our neighborhood have emerged this spring, and i see new additions that have been added over the winter. more strollers being pushed around the neighborhood, siblings added, double strollers where there once was only single strollers. i'm not jealous, not in the least. i am very happy for each and every one of those families. it does cause a little session of "day dreaming" to come on though. most times, i nip it in the bud. bring myself back to reality. thank God for the family i do have and the promises of holding my precious babies again. but sometimes, sometimes....i let myself go. i dream and dream and dream, and before i know it the 45 min walk around the block is over, and i return to my house again, and the memorial stone is out front and my daughter runs to it and gives it a few taps, babbling something....i'm sure she's saying "wish you coulda come with us on that walk, but we will have an eternity of walks to have real soon! especially with the way this weather is going!" ;o) (had to throw that in there....end times is real people, read revelation!)

i like day dreaming. i like it a lot.