Copays

**warning** This post is going to make me a little vulnerable, but let's get real. After all, that's what this blog is supposed to be for me...making it so I am no longer reticent about life. It also will be a bit long, a LOT of stuff going on here.

Life around our house lately has been pretty busy. Co-pays are the recurring theme. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for about 9 months. Unfortunately, I don't ovulate. THIS makes it a little difficult to be able to make a baby. Because of this reason, they don't wait the magical "one year" to be aggressive with trying to conceive. Apparently, if you are trying to conceive for a year or more and are unsuccessful, the dr's label you as infertile. Well, my dr's labeled me infertile off the bat. I haven't ovulated since I was like 16 years old. No one could ever give me a reason though, no one ever tried to find a reason either. My dr. put me on Clomid after the 1st of the year. We went through 3 cycles of Clomid, slowly increasing dosage each time. Nothing. My ovaries didn't even try to pretend they were going to cooperate. The 4th round was prefaced with a drug called Metformin, which coupled with Clomid, is supposed to jump start my ovaries. Yeah, guess what? MY ovaries hate me. They didn't want anything to do with it, they didn't even bat an eyelash (that is, IF they had eyelashes!) So this is when my dr was out of options and sent us to the fertility specialist. Well, that is where things got a little crazy. Hang in there, if you are still with me, this may be a really long post....The fertility dr asks a million questions, and takes into account every single disease or illness in your family...EVER. My mother has Celiac's disease. It's a disease where your body can't break down gluten, therefore you do not get the appropriate nutrients you need, and have to be on a gross, nasty, sawdust tasting, gluten free diet. Apparently, my dr took one look at me and since my only symptom is infertility (yup, a symptom of celiac's is infertility...weird), she thinks that I have it. So after checking my ovaries and finding that I do in fact have LOTS of eggs (thanks guys, now HAND THEM OVER!!!), we moved on in the testing. I went downstairs for blood tests where they proceeded to take 14 viles of blood. Yes, I almost died that day, thanks for caring. My dr called me back and said she wasn't surprised, and I shouldn't be either, but my blood test came back positive. Well, actually doc, I AM surprised, since I was praying that I did NOT have this awful, nasty, disgusting diet of a disease. Meanwhile, I made an appointment with the gastrointestinal specialist since they don't think blood tests are as accurate as the biopsy would be. Their first appointment wasn't until the middle of July. Well, waiting...yeah, we are done with that. We would have to wait til all of this information is gathered before we would even get to meet with the fertility dr again to discuss our plan of action. At the rate we were going, it would be another 9 months! So, Anthony and I prayed there would be a cancelation, and THERE WAS! I got an appointment for that next week! After meeting with this dr, she decided the biopsy was definately necessary and we scheduled it. The first opening was for August 4th. I was frustrated! It was only June 25th. Again, Anthony and I prayed there would be a cancelation, and I got a call back that afternoon! They had a cancelation for June 30th, less than a week away from that date! So excited (weird to be for a procedure like that), but any outcome would be bittersweet. Which brings us up to date. My endoscopy (biopsy of my small intestine) was done yesterday. I should have results by Monday or Tuesday. If it's Celiac's, nasty diet, but could be easy to get pregnant. If it's not Celiac's, great food, but still no answers to why my ovaries hate me. Now, I have one test left, scheduled for next Thursday. This one is a little scary. They inject dye into my uterus with a monstrous needle and then take an xray of my uterus and fallopian tubes to see if there are any blockages. I am so afraid it will hurt. A large needle, and THAT area, not two things I would put together voluntarily. Very nervous, and scared about this test. So if you are still with me, could you please pray it goes well, and is pain free? I would really covet your prayers!

Alright, I think I'm done for now. Got a lot going on in the next week, and hopefully getting some much needed answers. God is good. I just have to remember that His plan is better than mine, and all things work together for His glory. God, let me give you glory in all this. Amen!