Day 6

Capture the Grief 

Day 6

What Not to Say

Capture the Grief Day 5

CarlyMarie's Photo a Day Project for day 5 is a memorial. This stone was made by my husband and I and is placed in our front yard under our flagpole.

 

 

Day 4 (oops forgot!)

Day 4 of the CarlyMarie Photo a Day Project for Capture the Grief is a picture of something that is one of your most treasured items. This is my necklace. It has ashes from all of the triplets inside and carries their birthstone on the bottom. I never leave home without it.

Penis or Vagina?

On Thursday September 20th my husband, my daughter and I got to see the new baby through ultrasound, and find out the gender. I was so anxious leading up to this appointment. I couldn't wait to find out what we were having and to just start feeling like we were that much closer to being able to bring this baby home. The tech didn't waste time and in less than 2 minutes after that gross warm gel was smeared on my belly she said "It's a BOY!" Clear as day, my well-endowed little man was showing off his junk. All my girls have been modest, hard to tell, took a while to find out...all my boys (with the exception of Nathan because of there being no fluid) were waving it around, or showing it with pride. Such men :o)

Without wasting any time everything else looked great. Claire kept insisting she was having a sister (which up until that point she insisted she was having a brother. typical. Just wants opposite of what mommy says). We went to the car relieved and ready to count down a few more weeks until we were more safe with this pregnancy. 

My husband got in the car, turned the key, and said "what do you think of doing his room in a car theme, like real cars and parts hanging from the wall?" He was beaming from ear to ear. He could feel it, taste it, embrace that he was having a son. One that he could bring home and raise and do "father/son" things with. Who am I to burst his bubble with my pessimism and uncertainty that instead of decorating a bedroom, we'd be making another shelf for an urn and this baby's belongings? Terrible, I know. It's just where I'm at. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited, I'm planning, I'm buying things....BUT, I am keeping all the receipts. I don't trust my body, and I really don't trust the whole pregnancy and delivery safely thing. out of 4 children, only 1 can I kiss and rock and hold on this earth.

We decided on the name Dominic Anthony. His name means "belonging to the Lord", and "highly praiseworthy". And that he does and is.

Can't wait to meet this little man. To feel his breath on my cheek and to kiss his warm pink toes and lips.

Day 3

Post Loss Self Portrait

Day 3 of the Capture the Grief project comes from CarlyMarie's blog. You can find out more about it from HERE.

Self Portrait

Day 2, Pre-Loss Self Portrait

Carly Marie is doing a 31 day photo project. See my last blog for details for follow the link to read about it.

Sunrise

CarlyMarie's Capture the Grief is doing a 31 day link up blog for grieving mothers with different pictures.

I thought I would try to join in here on my blog, as well on my instagram and my facebook. Let's see if I can keep up with that.

 

 

Sunrise

I do realize I never wrote about the gender of my baby. It's been a few weeks, and I apologize. I'll work on a blog about that day tomorrow.

Also, a close friend of mine is a professional photographer and recently did a photo shoot and interview for her photography blog. She has been doing different motherhood blogs and wanted to do one on a grieving mother. I was honored when she asked me. She just recently posted that as well. You can follow this link to find it.